I 'came out' of my personal closet in March 1996, and initially followed the path which my predecessors had trodden before me - which essentially meant doing my best to pass as a woman. But in the summer of 1998, my cross-dressing philosophy underwent a complete transformation - I started to question the doctrine that I should have to try to pass as a woman just because I like wearing a skirt occasionally. Thus began the journey to a higher level of self-acceptance - every bit as difficult as the original acceptance of my transvestism - and it was at this point that I realised that I had to be honest with myself and with other people about what I was, namely a man who likes dressing up as a woman.
From here, the natural progression was to wear female clothes in public as a man without a wig or make-up. However, after the 'Rotherham Incident' in November 1998, I'd been told by Janett Scott, the president of the Beaumont Society, that the world wouldn't accept this form of cross-dressing, and that I'd be in for a rough ride - much more so than if I dressed as a 'conventional' tranny. But I knew this was something I had to do ......
I'd also been following various threads on the Internet newsgroups about trannies dressing at work - it was something which had appealed to me when I'd first read about it. Following my birthday party in September 1998 at which several of my work colleagues had met Sally for the first time, my boss had said that I was welcome to go to work dressed whenever I wished - I'd subsequently dropped in a few times en femme on the way to somewhere else, although I'd never worked a whole day in that mode. But with my preference now tending towards wearing male and female stuff in any combination as the mood took me, I decided that the time was right to take the final step of wearing a skirt to work as a man.
As a matter of courtesy, I first ran the idea past some of my work colleagues. The unanimous response was that I should just do it - don't give anyone the chance to object. I nevertheless decided to speak to the Occupational Health Officer in her capacity as counsellor. She'd been helpful to me in the first four months after my coming out, when my performance at work had suffered as a result of clinical depression. However, my well-prepared arguments about equality weren't needed - she simply said "I can't see any reason why you shouldn't", adding as an afterthought: "women wear trousers to work all the time, don't they?". I also spoke to my local union rep, who stated that unless my performance at work suffered as a result, the company would have no grounds for disciplinary action.
Unfortunately, a quick glance through my wardrobe revealed little except microskirts - hardly suitable even for Sally to wear to work! So I made an appointment with a Personal Shopper in my local Debenhams for May 24th. After much experimentation, I eventually purchased a black, slightly flared ankle-length skirt with a deep side vent - suitable both as an additional item for my femme wardrobe, and also as a sensible, smart-casual skirt to wear as a man. It went well with the white sleeveless (women's) tee-shirt that I was wearing at the time, and I bought a pair of black deck shoes to finish the outfit off. To get used to the feeling of being a 'man in a skirt', I wore the ensemble to complete my shopping trip - a couple of hours around the town, and then on to Sainsbury's.
Back at work the next day, my secretary Gill wanted to know what I'd bought, so I gave her a showing at morning break on 26th. My regular lunchtime colleagues had all said they'd sit somewhere else if I wore a skirt, but Gill promised to eat with me if I stayed dressed up for the rest of the day - so I did! Co-incidentally, I'd had a manicure while in Debenhams, and my fingernails had been painted bright red for a party the following weekend. I must have looked quite unusual!
Of course, no-one in my office was surprised by my appearance, but the staff restaurant was a different matter - there were plenty of double-takes and raised eyebrows from both men and women, and the geeks were having a party at my expense! But why should I worry about the opinions of men who consider leather elbow pads and socks with sandals to be haute couture? Later, as it was a nice day, I took the opportunity to go for a long stroll around the site at afternoon break. As I walked, a whole range of conflicting emotions went through my head. I felt like I was out dressed for the first time, but with three years' experience and confidence behind me. There was a sense of exhilaration alongside calmness, and of a driving ambition alongside contentment. I also felt that I was finally experiencing my true nature.
I waited a couple of weeks to allow any possible flack to die down, then did it again. As the weather had warmed up considerably, I thought I'd wear a thinner skirt, and opted for a full-length black wrap-around design from Dorothy Perkins. This was June 10th, and again there was no comeback. However, the third time - June 21st - I was spotted! I was returning from the restaurant with Gill, and almost walked into my manager, Paul, on a blind corner. In the fraction of a second that we were face-to-face, he evidently noticed that something wasn't quite as it should be ......
The next day, my boss called me into his office - Paul wanted to see me. It was to be a sympathetic fact-finding meeting at which I could call the shots: I could even refuse the meeting if I wished, although this would have created an impasse in which I knew there were dissenting (or at least concerned) voices, and I would've felt uncomfortable pursuing the issue unilaterally under such circumstances. In any case, I'd always said that I would be totally honest about it, so with nothing to lose and possibly everything to gain, I agreed to the meeting. It was scheduled for June 30th.
Again with my agreement, Paul had invited Sarah, a representative from the local personnel department, to sit in on the meeting. We spoke about the possible impact of what I was doing on other people on the site where I work, on customers who come onto the site and might happen to see me, and on the image of the company as a whole if it became known in the outside world that they allowed men to cross-dress at work. By and large, these were questions to which I couldn't provide definitive answers - I tended to argue the whole issue from a logical 'women can wear trousers, men can wear skirts' standpoint, and I stated that, in my experience, the outside world doesn't really give a damn about cross-dressers. I knew that Paul didn't accept this, and I also realised that top management and customers probably wouldn't accept it either, but this was my honest opinion, and I said so. I also anticipated the negative reaction to my union's proposal for an article on cross-dressers as a minority within the company. It was obvious that the meeting had reached something of a stalemate, so Sarah suggested that I contact the local employee counsellor, Kay, and the HR department for guidance on a possible way forward.
I took both these pieces of advice, and saw Kay twice on 5th and 15th July. It was her personal opinion that, as the world approaches the new millennium, it shouldn't be an issue if a man wants to wear a skirt - however, in her capacity as a company employee, she wasn't in a position to recommend that I do so at work. Like Sarah, she suggested that the matter was best handled by HR. Well, things went quiet for a bit, then on 5th August, I received an e-mail from Sarah informing me that she'd recently spoken with HR, and had learned that the Policy Unit had now become involved. This was getting serious - would my company go this far if they had no intention of trying to accommodate my needs? How far could they go?
It was around this time that I found a whole section on the company intranet on the subject of 'diversity', which I knew was about valuing each employee for the mutual benefit of the company and the workforce, regardless of any minority he or she might belong to. The site listed pretty-much every minority I could think of, and a few more besides, but there was one missing - cross-dressers. I wondered whether I should draw this to the attention of the 'diversity' team, and sought advice from a close friend in the union office - she suggested that if I didn't, nothing would change, so what had I got to lose? So over the next couple of days, I carefully drafted a letter giving a brief history of my life, and of the progress of the cross-dressing issue within the company to date, and e-mailed it to the 'gender champion', Pamela, on 17th August. Then on 2nd September, I had a phone call from a lady named Barbara in the Policy Unit. She'd read my e-mail, and had also been contacted by other members of HR, and was keen to find out a bit more about what I was asking for. I replied that I merely wished to be my true self in all walks of my life - including the work environment. She said she'd like to meet me to discuss the issue further, and could I come down to her London headquarters? She also wanted to meet Janett Scott, whose name I'd initially mentioned to Sarah back in July. After contacting Janett, we fixed a date for 20th September.
After some thought, I eventually decided that I should wear a skirt to this meeting. It was obvious really - it would give the Policy Unit some idea of the sort of outfit I was asking about, and would also demonstrate that I was serious in my intentions. After all, any man who braves the commuter journey into London on the train, followed by a ride on the crowded underground system, while wearing a skirt and heels, must be serious! So I spent a couple of hours in town one afternoon, and bought a short-sleeved black jacket, and a pair of grey-and-black open shoes with 3-inch chunky heels. I wore these to the London meeting with my smart long black skirt, plain tights, and a V-necked white tee-shirt. I decided on a minimum of accessories - a pair of 2-cm hoops in my ears, a little mascara, and perfume - although my fingernails were still painted bright red after my birthday party two days earlier. But the overall image was professional.
The journey to London was easier than I'd anticipated, with almost no-one passing more than a quick glance over my unconventional outfit. I arrived at the specified building 20 minutes early, and sat in the foyer reflecting on the momentous possibilities which the forthcoming meeting held if it went in my favour. At 10am sharp, I was met by two women who introduced themselves as my hosts, Barbara and Christine. We stopped off at the canteen to grab some coffee, then went to a small conference room; on the way, I remarked that I'd been a bit unsure about what I should've worn to such a meeting. Christine looked me up and down, then said "That's perfect - a smart business suit. You look great." I thought so too - but in any case, who was I to argue with these two women who determine policies for the entire company?
Seated in the conference room, I began by giving a brief account of my childhood, then my 'coming out' in 1996 and the positive effect it had had on me, and the latest development whereby I'd become a 'man in a skirt' with no wig or make-up. I said that it was very important for me to dress this way, and I now regularly wore a skirt everywhere except work with virtually no hassle. We discussed the possible pro's and con's of this mode of dressing on the company, its employees, and its customers, then talked about full-time fully-dressed trannies, and part-time fully-dressed trannies. In the latter two cases, it was thought that there might be objections from female staff to men using the women's facilities, while in the case of the part-time tranny, the additional issue of whether a 'male' or a 'female' would be answering the phone or signing letters on a particular day could easily lead to confusion! In contrast, the tone of the current discussion was giving me the impression that what I was asking for had already been granted ......
Naturally, the subject of 'appropriate' clothing came up. Certainly, what I was wearing at the time was 'appropriate', although in practice, I'd probably be OK wearing what any professional woman of my age would wear. And what of the geeks in the restaurant who'd found it so amusing to see me in a skirt? "Could I take some names and report them for harassment?", I asked, jokingly. "Yes, you could," Barbara replied. But I doubt that it'll ever come to that - sniggers and giggles are part of life in this game, and unless someone is particularly unpleasant, I generally laugh along with them.
I had one final question for my hosts. "After I ran into my manager that time wearing a skirt, I decided to play it cool until this issue had been resolved ......" Barbara interrupted: "If you get up tomorrow morning and feel like going to work in a skirt, do it." I couldn't have had a clearer answer than that, or one from a higher authority.
The 'diversity' program being preached so hard in my company is being driven from the very top, so there's no justification for any of my management or colleagues taking offence at me wearing a skirt, and any case of harassment can simply be referred to a higher authority. The opinion seemed to be that having a few men wandering around in skirts was unlikely to scare customers away, especially with a reputation like ours. There might be some objections on religious grounds, and if the press got hold of the story, things could get embarrassing - but these were the sorts of issues in which the Policy Unit have a lot of previous experience, and Christine was confident that there'd be no real difficulties in this case once an official statement had been prepared.
Janett had arrived about 10.45. I have to admit that I had selfish reasons for wanting her to be there - as well as providing moral support, I was confident that she could dig me out of any holes I might inadvertently fall into. She also has an extensive knowledge of trans-history which could have proved useful. However, in the event, I needed no moral support, and there were no holes; furthermore, it seemed that the original question of whether to allow men to wear skirts had been resolved - albeit tacitly - before Janett's arrival, and possibly even before mine. Nevertheless, the meeting overran by nearly an hour! I treated Janett to lunch in the restaurant before we went our separate ways.
The trains going home were a lot less crowded than those on the journey out, although they were far from deserted - but again, few people seemed to care. And me? I was floating on air - I'd just done the most important morning's work of my life, with implications which go far beyond my personal need to wear a skirt to work. My company has led the way in a number of social issues including support for transsexuals during their pre-op, transitioning, and post-op phases, and these practices have since been adopted by a number of other companies. Who knows how far this latest initiative will go?
This article is published with the kind permission of my company's Policy Unit.
Some names have been changed.
Published in the Beaumont Society Magazine, Vol 8 No 1, March 2000.