I should like to enlighten you with a bit of recent history about me. As you might have noticed, I haven't worn false boobs at TLI parties since the beginning of last year, and it's probably also occurred to you that I make no attempt to pass as a woman. Well, I've now taken this one stage further, and I don't even wear a wig or make-up: in fact, my current mode of presentation - skirt, sometimes tights, sometimes heels, but never a wig, make-up or false boobs - is now part of my everyday life, both at home and at work. I know that I've mentioned to you in the past about my successful negotiations with my employer for the right to wear "female" clothes to work, which I've now been doing every day since February this year. And if you happen to be in Ipswich on a Saturday morning, you may also spot me similarly dressed.

The dire warnings about my safety from various tranny groups, not to mention the veiled death threats from certain of their more closeted members, have come to nothing, although I know that some are still deeply suspicious of my motives. But then, if I was in my sixties, and had spent my entire life lying to family and friends about my true self, I don't suppose I'd want some cocky bastard coming up and telling me that it hadn’t been necessary ......

Why am I telling you this? Well, the truth is that I find I don't really fit into any of the support groups any more - even though none of the Constitutions makes any mention of having to wear particular items, of having to pass, or even of calling oneself by a female name. Actually, it's probably closer to the truth if I said that none of the groups gives me the support I expect any more - after all, I'm still a cross-dresser in the broadest definition. But what I find really insulting is that the head of one group actually tried to suppress my views in print because they were subversive and damaging to the group she ran! So, frankly, I'm a little disillusioned with support groups at the moment - they seem to have the idea that their primary function is to maintain their own existence, instead of helping trannies to come to terms with what they are, and to get out there and enjoy being trannies. In my opinion, a support group will have succeeded in its task when it's no longer needed, and I believe that they should all be working towards that end. That's one of the reasons why I haven't immediately returned my subscription to TLI, although the chances are that I will do so for one more year.

Incidentally, this July, I shall be getting married to a wonderful American woman who not only accepts my cross-dressing, but actively supports me in my alternative mode of self-expression, and wants to help me get my ideas accepted in the places that matter. While she likes to see me tarted up, she - like me - can't accept any aspect of the dishonesty involved in passing. Having said that, she's expressed the wish to go to at least one of the support group meetings that I've attended over the last four years, and I hope to bring her along to TLI in July or August.

Kind regards

Graham

Published in the TransLiving Magazine, November 2000.