Please help me. I'm at my wit's end. At the tender age of just 41, I've developed a distressing and embarrassing condition - one which is beginning to affect my self-esteem and my self-confidence.

I'll start at the beginning. I came out of the closet three years ago, and was soon enjoying my cross-dressing very much. In fact, it wasn't long before I could be seen perusing the shops in Norwich and Ipswich on a regular basis. Then something awful happened. Occasionally, I'd start making drefful speeling mistkaes immy writng, then I'd veer off at a tangent from what I was talking holiday in Jamaica was lovely warm weather and clear blue seas. Now my memory has begun to fail. For instance, when I went out on my last birthday, I forgot to put on a skirt, and spent the whole night with my black frillies on show! Fortunately, that was at The WayOut Club, and I don't think anyone was unduly offended. But it's got much worse recently - I've started forgetting to put on my wig and make-up.

I've invented this male persona, Graham, in the hope that people will think I'm a man wearing a skirt instead of a woman with a balding head and a five-o'clock shadow. Luckily, all my friends from my amateur drama groups, my work colleagues, and my neighbours have, without exception, accepted this unfortunate change in my behaviour, and some of them have even said that I look great. One young woman suggested that I might start a new fashion trend - after all, she said, she wears trousers as a woman, so why shouldn't I wear a skirt as a man? She has a point, I suppose, but I know she's only trying to make me feel better about this dreadful condition.

I might've been able to come to terms with this unkind twist of fate, except that a minority of other cross-dressers seem to find it offensive that I should look like a man while wearing a skirt. Apparently, skirts should only be worn by 'properly-dressed' cross-dressers, and even then, they should be of a 1920's vintage to emphasise the beauty, finesse and deportment of the wearer. Why, a couple of these cross-dressers even suggested that I be fed to a gang of marauding football hooligans! That hurt me to the core, as you can well imagine, and has led me to seriously consider not going outdoors unless I can pass as a woman.

I don't intentionally wish to offend anyone, even other cross-dressers, so I'd appreciate your professional advice on what I can do to cure this sorry state of affairs.

Yours, Graham. Sorry, that should be Sally.

Beaumont Society Letter to Auntie Pauline, agony aunt.