Dear FXG editor -
"Controversial"? It was never my intention. "Divisive"? Only because you've made it so. I refer to the comment made in the editorial of the Summer 1999 FXG magazine about going out in public "half-dressed". My name wasn't specifically mentioned, but it's obvious that this was yet another dig at me by a tranny 'purist' who doesn't understand my philosophy. Unfortunately, by thoughtlessly placing such material in the editorial, the impression has now been given outside FXG that we're a backward-looking organisation with a rigid and outmoded philosophy. In truth this isn't the case - the opinions expressed in the editorial are those of the editor - many members don't share them.
In case you're from outside the FXG catchment area, let me recap. After a couple of years dressing to 'pass', I've recently come to the unavoidable conclusion that the true 'me' doesn't always want to dress as a complete woman or as a complete man - I'm happiest dressing as something in between, as the mood takes me. Anyone who's met me in my male life will know that I invariably wear mascara, femme earrings and heavy silver jewellery. Casual callers to my home (and indeed to many other places I frequent) may also find me wearing a skirt. Contrary to popular belief, I don't 'gender-mix' in this way to upset FXG - frankly, I have better things to do. It's simply the way I am. Incidentally, it's worth remembering that women have enjoyed exactly this freedom of dress for decades - without any requirement to 'pass' as a man! So what do the purists claim that I'm doing wrong?
It appears that their argument consists of the assumption that all trannies always want to portray the best feminine image they can, and that to pass as a woman in public is the ultimate goal. Any 'new' ideas which threaten this belief are automatically dismissed - consequently, my desire to dress mixed-gendered is condemned before I've had a chance to even open my mouth. I'm truly astounded that anyone can be so blind to the double standards being applied here: the purists are expecting the world to accept them masquerading as women, but they aren't willing to accept me as a man in a skirt!
It actually goes further than that. Several members of both the Beaumont Society and FXG have stated that the world isn't ready to accept mixed-gendered dressing by men, although it apparently is ready to accept 'fully-dressed' trannies. In my experience, this is untrue - although I make no attempt to hide my sex even when fully dressed, I've encountered no more hostility (although a bit more curiosity) when I've been out in mixed-gendered mode. I'm disgusted that the purists are using the presumed closed-minded attitudes of the Outside World as a means to intimidate other trannies into behaving in a prescribed manner. And the worst part of this lie is that closet trannies with no experience of the Outside World are believing it - the Internet newsgroups are full of sad accounts of trannies resigned to a life in the closet because they don't pass.
And what about trannies who do pass? Well, it's obvious that they'll never change the attitude of the public towards male cross-dressing - how can they, when they're invisible? Consequently, future generations of less-than-passable trannies and potential mixed-gendered dressers will remain as fearful of going out on the streets as most are today. But common sense dictates that it'll be through the actions of these latter types of people that the world will learn to accept us all. And when this happens, surely it'll be a time for all cross-dressers to rejoice? So why is it that so many purists are antagonistic towards me when I'm willing to fight for their acceptance? It almost seems like they want to remain a secretive, misreported and oppressed sector of society ......
Finally, the editorial states that "we at FXG are a ...... loyal group - let us strive always to stay that way". In other words, if Sally will refrain from behaving in an unacceptable manner, things will be OK. Unfortunately, it's not that easy: Sally doesn't believe the lies any more. However, if FXG wants to bury its head in the sand and pretend that the world is hostile to cross-dressers and trannies, that's just fine. If it wants to continue putting forward the lie that the only way to public acceptance is to pass, that's its prerogative. But excuse me if I refuse to play this game. I'll continue to do my damnedest - from within FXG, or outside it if necessary - to tell the truth using every medium at my disposal.
And as for a "split within FXG" - as I said at the start of this letter: "Divisive"? Only because you've made it so.
Graham, aka Sally Watson
Published in the FXG Felixstowe Girls Magazine, Volume 3 Number 3, Autumn 1999.